Monday, March 11, 2013

Men: Online Dating Is a Tough Market

In the wild (the offline, regular dating world), women and men can size each other up reasonably well. You can get a good look at each other, talk a bit to detect personality traits, are they clean, well dressed, etc. It is almost a level playing field, but I think that men have an advantage in the wild. There are fewer awesome available guys out there than you think. Girls will frigging kill each other to get their mitts on a reasonably good looking, employed guy that wears his pants long enough, has all of his front teeth and doesn't have "LOVE" and "HATE" tattooed on his knuckles.
Grandma ain't gonna like that, unless of course you have an awesome Grandma.
The online world (on the other hand:)) is a disaster for men. Women have the absolute advantage and it is all about them, which is OK. No longer does a woman have to head out to a bar with her friends, hoping to meet a nice guy, but actually enduring the endless stream of obnoxious drunk boneheads coming up and pitching tired old lines.
To be successful you have to do two things: be proactive, and stand out. Women will contact men after viewing their profile, but they don't have much time because they are busy wading through emails from other guys. One of these proactive guys is likely to be the one that gets a date. So you need to get busy, browse profiles, identify women that you are interested in, and establish contact. It is unlikely that these girls are going to be talking to each other, so develop a template introductory email that you will send as your first contact. Oh, and don't send a woman an email telling her how hot she is and what you are going to do to her sexually, it doesn't work - at least not initially.
As for standing out, the key factor here is to develop as complete a profile as possible. Include nice photos of you doing something you like, in a nice environment. Ideally you will be the only one in the picture, but don't send photos where you have obviously cropped out your-ex wife or girlfriend! Write something nice about yourself, interests, hobbies, etc. Of course there are sites such as Adult Friend Finder that allow explicit photos and descriptions, but that is within there terms of service and people are browsing with a certain expectation. If you are on Match or POF, you will want to present a nice image.
Remember that your photo and what you write about yourself are the only tools you have to convey as much as possible about your personality and interests to a potential partner. Use the opportunity to put your best foot forward.
One last thing: be honest. If you are looking for a long term partner it is unlikely that you are going to be able to carry on a lie for long. If you make 50k a year don't put down that you make 150k. Height and weight are just as important. You are not going to be able to grow 3 inches and lose 40 pounds by the weekend!
Describe yourself, be yourself, and have a blast.
About the Author:
Travis Hubbard is a professional software developer, writer, and management consultant. He enjoys spending time helping others to resolve issues and reach their goals. Please visit his site at Dating Success For Men for more information.
© 2012 Travis Hubbard
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1 comment:

  1. Most dating sites that I have tried have been quite disappointing. They are ok for a laugh but not if you really are looking for something. So I searched for dating website for real relationship and I found this and it was really good, it is a good way to see what is out there. There are a lot of different people in different countries, but some good ones too. The good thing about it is that it's totally secure because they have the feature of video chatting with these girls so you'll not share your personal contacts unless you're 100% sure , One thing that I really liked was the tips on how to avoid scam and fraud.